How Did I End Up Like This?

How Did I End Up Like This

Thirteen years ago, I was on top of the world. I was about to finish a year of my life that led me to do things I never thought I would accomplish. I lost almost 200 pounds and was feeling amazing. I was working out several times a day and eating healthy foods. My anxiety had dropped. I didn’t mind mirrors. I was traveling more and getting out of the house daily. I was living the good life.

So, What Happened?‚Äč

Now for the burning question… what caused me to gain all the weight back and stop living the healthy lifestyle that I had worked so hard to achieve? That’s a good question and one I need to answer so that I don’t repeat it after I lose the weight again. I think it comes down to 3 things.

I Had Reached My Goal

For the past 12+ months, I had worked every day to control my hunger, exercise to exhaustion and feel great about the results I was seeing. But then the day came when I stepped on the scale and it told me I was done. I weighed less than 175 pounds! I can’t tell you what a relief it was knowing that I could take a minute and relax. It was over.

But maintenance mode proved more challenging for someone like me. I no longer had something to aim. I no longer woke up each morning running to the scale to see how I had done the day before. I simply was done. And that didn’t work well for me.

I Still LOVED Sugar

Then THAT DAY came. A coworker had bought a pecan pie and brought it in for everyone to enjoy. It had been over a year since I had any real dessert. My addiction to sugar had ended (or so I thought). So, I grabbed a slice of the pie and OMG! The sugar hit my tongue and I started having flashbacks to my days of two fisting cookies, cake and ice cream. I was in heaven. Later that night I made a grocery run to pick up a whole pie and never looked back. It was GAME OVER!

I Re-injured My Knee

To make the situation even worse, I injured my knee badly and had to stop exercising for a few weeks as I let it heal. In fact, I never did get back to my exercise routine. The couch had won. Old habits became my new habits. I was no longer at the gym several times a day despite my increased calorie intake. By the time my knee had healed, it was too late – I was a couch potato.

I Want A Do-Over

Despite the perfect storm that caused me to start re-gaining the weight, I kept tabs on things and tried unsuccessfully to regain control over my eating and exercise. It was hopeless. I had lost all of this weight and still didn’t feel happy. What I didn’t realize, AND WHAT I REALIZE NOW, is that I was HAPPIER. I was happier as a healthy person who ate a balanced diet and exercised every day than I am as an obese, non-exerciser today.

Hindsight is always 20/20 and since that time, I have tried repeatedly to change my habits and regain the person I was in 2006. I’m ready and once this weight comes off, I’m going to make sure it stays off FOR GOOD. Even though I might not be as happy as I hope to be, I’ll realize that I’m happier than I was.

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